Roly's Mission

from 4.17.2009

Originally Posted by Roly This is why I drink. There’s a lot of negative shit about booze, but the BIG positive is it makes you more social. It puts you in that “talkative mood”. If it didn’t, then why are 99% of the people in bars drinking?? To gain weight? To spend money? To have a hang over? No! The benefit is that it “loosens you up”. I for one – and I suspect MANY PUAs and AFCs will agree – am much more social with a couple beers in me. I definitely believe I can learn to be social and talkative when I’m sober but it’s going to take time and practice and lots of sober-sarging to get there consistently. And that’s the problem. Most nights I’ve tried to get off the booze crutch I’m NOT in the same talkative mood that I am drunk. I have shitty results and so I go back to boozing. This is why I keep slipping and sarging drunk. Because it IS easier!

This was me one year ago. I just could NOT see it! I knew I was being had, but I just couldn’t see a way out. Booze doesn’t “make you more social.” It relieves social anxiety by letting you work around fear instead of facing it. Then you start opening sets because you aren’t afraid. So it FEELS like the booze is making you “more social.” But booze doesn’t make you more social. Opening sets makes you more social. 

Man I am so grateful I found that book. I ALWAYS KNEW… Deep down in the back of my mind I KNEW. It really BOTHERED me and I was never at peace. I knew I was being had. I knew there had to be a better way, but what could I do? I genuinely believed (and you can see it right in that post) there was a benefit to getting drunk. That it was HELPING. And when I did try to fight my way out… I never made it through the adjustment period! Never made it over the hump. Which unfortunately just reinforces your belief that there is a genuine benefit to drinking. It MUST be the booze that MAKES you more social. Right?? Damn what an INGENIOUS trap it is. It really is. I’m so glad I’m out. EIGHT MONTHS to start getting laid again! That’s one heck of an adjustment period.

That’s the price I paid for 16 years of relying on booze for confidence. 16 years -Vs- 8 monhts…. I guess that’s not so bad. 

from 4.17.2009

The main problem here is the bitch shields are HORRENDOUS. Worst you will EVER encounter. Worse than the snobbiest, trendiest clubs in town. Forget any kind of “nice” regular afc approach. You’ll even have a tough time with casual/situational openers. Which usually work out just fine elsewhere.

This is the place where a month or so back, I opened that HB11 with “Hey this is my spot! Your spot is over there!” great confidence, big smile. And she says “Shut the fuck up.” The girls are just obnoxious. And it’s contagious! Even the so-so girls start throwing huge bitch shields because…. I think because of peer pressure from the hot girls. It’s the environment. I met a BARELY cute HB6 there a month ago, who was flirting with me on the patio, actively pursuing me. She became kind of a regular. Weeks later she’s coming through to where I am and I put my hand on her SHOULDER and say “Nope! We’re all full over here!” Big smile, good conifdence. She doesn’t recognize me and says “If you touch me again I’ll fucking hit you.” ??? She’s a SIX on her BEST day. If I had a picture to post you guys would laugh. That’s the venue. It’s a horrible bitch-fest. It’s the big leagues.

It’s VERY difficult to hook-up there. The last time I got laid out of that place was OVER A YEAR AGO (post #175 here.) with “come on my eyes” girl.

So why would I on earth would any guy keep going back there?

Because the girls are PHENOMENAL. HB 8s and 9s EVERY weekend. Occasional 10s. Occasional ELEVENs! I mean like the hottest girls you’ve ever seen at a bar. Girls that could EASILY be Playmates. Some of them probably are. Girls that are HOTTER than Playmates. Seriously.

And even though for the most part I have not YET been successful with those girls. (If I’m honest with myself I don’t even open that many of them). Deep down I KNOW the only thing preventing success is not having the solid game I want. This is a HARD bar to get laid at. VERY tough. But a great place to get over your fear of approaching HB9s. It’s the BIG leagues.

I really SHOULD have started at other bars and only come here after I had consistent success with HB7s and 8s elsewhere. I think that would probably be the best path for ANY PUA. Really. How much quicker would you learn game starting out with only HB6s, then 7s. ONLY when you’re good do you move up to 8s/9s. That would probably work out better. But it’s hard to resist the temptation to “give it a shot” even when you’re out of your league. …and foolsmate DOES occassionally happen. But it’s really not the best route going for the top of the heap first.

If I had to do “Roly’s Mission” over again…. Ohhh man… Well first of all I would have made quit drinking step #1. Since alcohol was stealing my confidence and actually CAUSING my fear of HBs. But that’s easy to see in hindsight and was virtually impossible to see DURING. Then I’d advise starting with HB6s/7s and only move on to HB8s/9s once I was getting laid consistently with them. I really do think that wood provide the most success in the shortest amount of time. But good luck telling an aspiring PUA, NOT to go for the hot girls yet!

Point is NOW is the time for me to game at this bar of horrible bitch shields and approach the 8s and 9s. I’m not really intimidated by the 6s/7s any more. So now IS the right time for this bar.

Even though in hindsight I can see it would have made more sense to game at other venues with less bitch shields while I was learning, I did manage to pull two VERY HOT girls out of this place in the last year and a half. That chick from post #175, and HBShallowCoochie and her PERFECT boobs. So I’m not complaining.  And this is the place I met HBSuperTits.

Go read post #175. THAT is what it takes to succeed here. (And succeed with HB9s in general. I’m sure it’s no different in LA, in Texas, in Boston, in NYC, wherever the “big leage” hot girls are.) RAGING confidence. Not just “opening” girls, mercilessly teasing the shit out of girls, fucking with them, busting their balls on EVERYTHING. I need to go out like I did in post #175 EVERY night!

That night I had some lucky, UNREPEATABLE mix of friends, warmed-upness, comfort in the venue, “perfect amount of alcohol” and social proof to give me that ‘Raging confidence.’ That’s great. I had a great night! But when booze is in the mix… and you are DEPENDENT on it to achieve confidence, it’s not repeatable. The next night I might not QUITE be drunk enough to be ‘feeling it’. The night after that I’m TOO drunk and completely unattractive to women. ….you see the problem?!

Now that I’m off the booze crutch…. and now that I think about it off the FRIEND crutch (due to solo sarging) I believe I’m going to eventually get to a point where “Raging confidence” IS REPEATABLE. Not only repeatable, but where it becomes the norm! Where not having raging confidence at the bar is a weird “off” night. Not the norm like it is now. The norm for me now is DECENT confidence. And THAT is awesome. The norm used to be crippling social anxiety, INSURMOUNTABLE sober. Only able to deal with HBs by drinking up Liquid courage first.

At this point I am MORE comfortable around HBs stone sober than I was drinking. How AWESOME is that?? With the exception being those drunk “Raging confidence” nights. When I’m in THAT zone. Forget it. ANY girl can be approached. ANY one. HB9s, HB10s. I’m absolutely 100% unstoppable when I’m there.

Can you see my plan? Can you see why I stuck it out with not drinking? “Raging confidence” is the key to success with the HOTTEST hot girls. Booze TAKES your confidence. By getting off it, I hurt my confidence in the short term because I had to interact with HBs without my crutch. But in the long term I get my confidence back! What’s more important that that?? CONFIDENCE IS EVERYTHING WITH WOMEN. I’m only half way there!! In another 6 months, or 3 months, or 12 moths or HOWEVER long it takes, “raging confidence” will be THE NORM. Then my transformation will be complete. And I’ll have the “women” are of my life taken care of. That’s all I want. 

In other news…. My diet (and I shouldn’t call it a diet, it’s a permanent lifestyle change) is absolutely WORKING. My strength is UP. I’m doing more weight on curls, MORE reps on chest, more reps on triceps, MORE weight on shoulders. …and my bodyweight is DOWN. I’m doing exactly what I planned. Building muscle AND losing fat at the same time. Something that is totally impossible if you’re eating “typical American diet” full of processed food. Processed crap makes your body WANT to pile on fat and not muscle. You fight your genes. Natural foods that GOD made, not man, makes your body easily drop fat (and add muscle if you eat enough calories.) It’s freakin’ BRILLIANT.

I’m going in week after week and purposely NOT adding weight to deadlift, since I have all the size I want in my thighs back and ass. Just holding at 245, 2 work sets of 10. I’m still a LONG way off on fat loss. I’m still relatively fat. I’m probably looking at Halloween or Christmas before THAT transformation is complete.

I swear man I feel like in 6-9 months a big buzzer is going to go off and some soothing female voice will come over a speaker and say “Transformation complete.” I’ll have the GAME I’ve always wanted, the BODY I’ve always wanted, my business will be making enough money to pay all my bills and my comedy career will be in full swing. I’m working on all 4 of those things, so I don’t see why not! That would be awesome.

from 4.16.2009

….and no more damn phone numbers if I haven’t kissed the girl first! “Number collecting” is completely useless. The last… FIVE numbers I pulled have all been flakes. Because I never kissed the girl! If you don’t have enough attraction for a girl to KISS you, you shouldn’t be pulling the number. Seriously. A number is a way to meet up again, not a goal unto itself. A KISS is not that big of a deal. Certainly not “slutty.” If she won’t even do that, forget about getting her number. That’s not in any PU material I’ve read, but it seems like a GREAT rule to me. Gets you focused on the KISS not the number. No #s without a kiss first. New rule! 

My immediate goal when I enter a venue is to OPEN sets (actually that needs to be my goal any time I leave the damn house). Once I’m doing that, my goal is to isolate, escalate and either KISS a girl or get her back to the house. ONLY after that should I worry about a phone number.

from 4.14.2009

I need to open more HOT girls. More HB8s/HB9s. I’m good at opening HB6/7s. …and I don’t think for a minute that I should stop opening them. But I need more practice with these truly attractive women. I’m dissappointed with the ‘poker face’ girl not because it was that monumental of a screw up, but because she was QUITE hot. So she became scarce because I don’t approach enough girls THAT hot. In the last 6 months, HBpoker-face, HBSuperTits and HBBoxer stick out in my mind, and the reason they stick out is because they were HOT, HOT, HOT!

It’s absolutely NOT the same thing talking to a “cute” girl. HBRed from a week or two ago? Meh….. take or leave her. HBSuperTits on the other hand… Whoa! And her and HBBoxer and HBPokerFace wouldn’t be a big deal to me if I’d make a HABIT of opening girls that hot every time I go out. So that’s what I’m going to do. That’s what making it to the big-leagues means. “Playing” with THOSE girls. I don’t have to win every game, but I at least have to play! Trying to take home another HB6/7 at this point is not what I want.

It’s just as much work to land a “cute” girl as it is a “hot” girl. We THINK the hot girls are infinitely harder, because it can feel that way when you do well approaching 6/7s then make an approach on a 8/9 and get blown out badly. But I think it’s all just a matter of confidence. You get blown out badly because you went in with no confidence. You worked up JUST ENOUGH nerve to open the HB9. That’s not enough to close. And not enough to stay in set shitting your pants!

HBPokerFace is much hotter than most girls I approach. But I was feeling GOOD because I’d opened 4 or 5 other sets already…. and because months of sarging sober has improved my confidence. She was very receptive to me opening her up with confidence. Just like an HB6/7 would be. She started out seated and stood up to join me. It was ON, until I shot myself in the foot with that comment. I’m not saying 6/7s are the same thing as 8/9s…. but the latter isn’t MONUMENTALLY more difficult. WE make it that way by letting their beauty intimidate us. It’s not that they require much better game. It’s that they require much more confidence. If you could walk up to an HB9 and open her with the same confidence you do an HB6 you would get a good reaction. That’s exactly what I did with HBPokerFace, and it went well until I took myself out. 

If you can get over that confidence hurdle (and I know that’s a HARD thing to do, much easier said than done) it’s the SAME AMOUNT OF WORK. You still have to approach, tease, stay in set, bust her balls, get to comfort, escalate kino, # close, or pull to your house. You still have to do all those steps regardless of what the girl looks like. You just need boatloads more confidence with HB9s.

You know I’m still kicking myself over not getting out of the car at HBSuperTits house! But if I was approaching one girl that hot every night I went out…. I wouldn’t be thinking about her AT ALL. I do open sets now. And that’s awesome. But it needs to be girls as hot as HBSupertits. Luckily in Orange County there are girls that hot just about EVERY night out. Sure they may have horrible attitude, they may be surrounded by dudes…. But they are out there every night. Lots of nights, it’s NOT horrible logistics that holds me back, it’s plain old FEAR. 2 Sundays ago, a 3 set walks by me, ALL 3 of them with HUGE fake tits. Had to be bigger than double-Ds. MY kind of girls!! And I let them all walk by without saying a word. I can improve in that situation. Say SOMETHING. Yeah it’s scary. But the more I open girls with big fake boobs in my face, the easier it’s gonna’ get.

It’s a win-win. It builds my confidence. AND improves my chances just based on sheer numbers. If I approach 10 HBSuperTits type girls in a week…. I’ve got a way better chance with one of them, than if I approach ONE girl that hot every 3 months like I’ve been doing. So that’s my plan. Keep doing what I’m doing, but don’t stop and settle for staying in set with an HB6/7. Open MORE HB8s and HB9s. At least ONE every night sarging. Even if she’s the only one in the place and everyone is watching. You know?? That’s how you face fear! And I have to be Ok with failing. I don’t have a lot of practice with girls that hot, so I’ll probably flub a few of them. That’s Ok. It’s all learning. I already learned from HBPokerFace. No touchy-feely, and no stupid overly sexual comments. Game on. 

from 4.13.2009

Friday night went out with my old roommate from Boston who was in town. I’m going to leave out the boring details and cut to the chase. Standing near the dancefloor with my buddy. There’s a seated 2 set behind us at a table overlooking Newport bay and all the million dollar yachts. HB6/HB8. I wait for them to pay their tab and they lean in and open with

Roly “That one is mine. The REALLLLLY big one over there. The biggest one you can see.”
HB8 Really? blah, blah, blah…
Roly “Oh no wait, not that one, it’s a rubber dinghy BEHIND that one. It’s got an oar. I have to row it. Like this.”

And then I act out the rowing motion. Blah, blah, blah, tell her it doubles as a dance move. We keep talking. I have SOLID eye contact. Solid body language (I’ve finally stopped “Swaying” when I’m in set) good C&F frame. She’s still intimidating, moreso than a fat girl, but I’m not crippled.

The song “Poker face” comes on. I tell her that the first time I heard this song on the radio I thought they were saying “Fuck her face” not “Poker face” and HOW could they play that on the radio. Ohhhhhhhh I just ruined the song for you!

Ha————-ha. WHAT was I thinking with that comment? WAY too sexual and flat out GROSS for a girl you just met. She doesn’t want to hear some guy say “fuck her face”. Totally inappropriate. It’s not JUST overly sexual, it’s like nasty sexual. Fuck her face? That’s much more graphic than the word blowjob…. idiot.

Hey I said I had SOLID game skills not GREAT game skills. Remember the 3 main parts of game from 2 posts ago? opening, game skills, and confidence. That’s what it takes to get laid. I had GREAT opening tonight. This was the 4th or 5th set in 20 minutes. And I had solid confidence. Not raging, but very solid. So I had 2 outta’ 3. But game skills bit me in the ass. That “fuck her face” comment was fatal and totally took me out.

ON TOP of that…. she bumped into my arm and was like “whoa!” And I explained that I shaved my forearm and went into a story about how i never wanted to be the guy that shaves his forearms, but after I got my tattoos done, all the hair grew back and it was summer and they got bleached out white by the sun. And it looked RIDICULOUS having thick black tattoos under sunbleached arm hair. Nothing wrong with this story… but I kept rubbing my arm on her. I say, “Not that I put out, but this is what it’s like to kiss me.” and rub my forearm on her cheek.

Great. Good work. So not only am I going overly-sexual and grossing her out with the fuck-her-face comment. I’m TOUCHING a girl that doesn’t want to be touched. Don’t confuse this with KINO escalation. Kino is only appropriate if SHE initiates with a playful slap or you are damn sure she wants your touch. It’s AFTER you’ve already got attraction and probably some comfort. Otherwise you’re just the “creepy touchy-feely” guy.

To add insult to injury at the end of the night, she starts flirting with my buddy! I don’t mind losing a set. No biggie. It was MY fault anyway. But f*ck! I want to lose the set and NOT have to see her again. Now I have to deal with her and my buddy all coupled up. He’s making sure it’s Ok with me with his eyes from across the room. I give him a thumbs up, like everything is cool. And everything is with him. He didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did she really. I just don’t want to see it. After 15 minutes of avoiding them, I go tell him I’m going to the bar next door.

10 minutes later he shows up. She ditched on him too. He didn’t even get to kiss close her. LAME. His game is 1/2 charming 1/2 afc. So who knows what he said to lose the set.

I’m a little bummed I fucked it up with her. But it was great practice approaching a seated set and talking to an HB8 for 10 minutes. I’ve got plenty of practice with HB6/7s. I still don’t approach enough 8s and 9s. I’ll keep opening 6/7s for sure. But I need more practice with hotter girls.

And I learned TWO very valuable lessons. NO overly sexual stuff. And DON’T touch a girl that doesn’t want to be touched. I thought I already knew this…. but there is a difference between knowing it at your computer and DOING the right thing in field. It’s not internalized for me yet…

Man who would have thought picking up girls would be so damn complicated! The more I go out, the more flaws I see, the more I need to internalize. ….Worthwhile for sure. But damn frustrating! It just doesn’t seem like it should be this hard. And every time I try to simplify it…. I can’t. I end up leaving something out. Something MAJOR. Go out to “just open” and I wind up talking too sexual and being too touchy feely. You see???

I guess I’m still NEW at this, if you step back and look at the larger picture. Phase one was drunk-AFC-Roly. Then drunk-aPUA-Roly. Then quit drinking and begin the 8 month process of un-doing the mental damage and regaining my confidence. I feel like that step ended when I got laid sober for the first time. Only NOW, after all that other stuff can the true growing begin. Now I can take all I’ve read about and internalize it in field. TWO+ years in! It just blows my mind the “WOMEN” area of my life could be this much of a challenge! It’s taken TWO YEARS to get myself to a place to START really learning. ….unbelievable.

Then again how long does it take to get good at a musical instrument? How long did it take Michael Jordan to get good at ball? People forget he didn’t make the varsity team in high school when he first tried out. Four years in NC got him to a place to START playing in the NBA. You know?? It takes years to master a skill. And pickup is definitely a skill.

That’s a good analogy. This is what I feel like. Like I JUST came to the NBA of pickup. I’m excited to have made it to the big leagues. To be doing it on my own with no liquid courage, to be able to go out solo and sober and make approaches and get kiss closes. To have the knowledge I need to succeed. But I’m still a rookie! I’m making lots of mistakes on game day. I just got here! 

from 4.13.2009

Awwwwwwwww man! I’m like a week behind on FRs. I’m not going to try to catch up on every night out. It’d be too cumbersome and confusing at this point. But I do want to pull up some highlights.

Monday
2 female friends (By MY choice ) wanted to go out. I wasn’t expecting much for a Monday but I went. Early on in the night I opened a SEATED 4-set that was looking at menus with “Get the salad. The salads are HUGE here. No seriously, all 4 of you could share one.” I didn’t even expect to stay in set, I was just opening, but one conversational thread naturally led to another and I was there for 10 minutes. They did at some point need to order food, so I told them I was going to find my friends and took off.

I came back to that set a few times. 4 girls, 1 local and her 3 vacationing friends from Long Island. The local was ok HB6. 2 of the other girls were really cute. HB7/8. One had a really pretty face, and the other had a GREAT body with tits AND ass. The 4th girl…. I can’t even picture her now. Pretty unremarkable I guess.

I’ve talked to all the girls but eventually pick the one with the banging body as my target. At one point I’m sitting on a stool talking to her while the girl with the gorgeous face is dancing. I’m sort of chair dancing. And she’s like “Come on!” because she wants me to dance with her. But I stay seated and talk to the friend. Somehow I missed this flagrant IOI. I guess in my mind I’d already picked my target.

I get “the body” in isolation at the table, but she’s overly concerned about where her friends are and leaves to find them. Somehow I missed this flagrant IOD. I see in NOW in hindsight, but I couldn’t see it in the moment.

All the girls are on the dancefloor. I bump my butt into the body and she FULLY ignores me. ?? I picked up on that IOD and wandered off. This would have been a good time to just keep dancing by myself UNAFFECTED by the fact that she didn’t reciprocate. But I’m not QUITE there at the level where I can do that yet. I’ll get there. 

Later on I number close “the body” about going out the next night to Taco Tuesday. She seems interested. Then I find myself in isolation with the girl with the beautiful face. And she says “You’re really cool!” She’d been hit on by probably 3 or 4 other guys by this point and didn’t really like any of them. I tell her “That’s only because I’m having this (and show her my water) you wouldn’t like me if I was a slobbering drunk.” I don’t know what prompted that?? Normally I HIDE my non-drinking because there is a stigma, there is an “uncoolness” to being sober. I’m fine with it, my frame is strong, but some people can’t handle it and just do NOT think it’s possible to have fun without booze, so therefore something must be WRONG with you if you can do that. You think they’d be envious, but some people seem legitamately resentful. It’s weird. Anyway point is I don’t usually make an issue about drinking/ not drinking, but for some reason I told her. Turns out she is a substance abuse counselor for her day job and my whole story (which I told her as a natural progression of the conversation) was a MASSIVE dhv.

Now I’m kinda digging this girl with the face, not the one with the body. – Hey what do you know it’s not 100% physical! It’s about 90% – in this case the body girl was my first pick based just on physical attributes, but once I got talking to this other girl I wanted to switch. And she is CLEARLY digging me. BUT…. I’ve just number-closed the wrong girl 10 minutes earlier. DAMN. Oh well. I figure they’ll both come out tomorrow night and I can switch then.

But the next day “the body” won’t respond to my C&F text message that went like this:

I was giving her shit about a pretty mean sunburn Monday night. But NOTHING!! Not a peep out of her. You know what they say about wasting time chasing cold leads…. 1 non-response is all I need. I figure I can still go to the bar I told them about. If they are there great, if NOT…. I’m still in a bar full of new targets. I went out Tuesday and they were NOT there. Boooooooooooooooo! What a waste.

How many hours did I spend on them Monday night??? I don’t know what happened. And frustrating as it is…. that’s just the thing. You’ll NEVER know! You don’t get to find out what happened with girls that SEEMED to be into you, but now won’t answer a fucking TEXT message.Total flakes are just part of the game. There weren’t really any hotter targets out and it was a Monday night. And it was good practice. So I’ve got nothing to complain about. But it still sucks. The only hint I had was that she walked away when I had her in isolation. Up until that time she was very flirty. My gut tells me boyfriend back home in Long Island. In her mind it’s harmless and fun to flirt with some California guy at a table with her friends, but left alone with me it’s not so harmless so she goes to find her friends.

Anyway it’s a bummer not because of her, because of the friend with the pretty face. And I had no way to meet up with her now. She was into me. I almost feel like I made a mistake not getting up and dancing with her. BUT… I went with the girl I WANTED more (at the time). There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m under no obligation to jump at the chance with the friend just because she’s throwing it at me, if I want “the body” that’s what I should stick with. If there is an HB9 and and HB6 and the 6 throws herself at you, you’d be dumb to jump on that. Stick it out with the 9. Same scenario here except they were BOTH pretty hot so it wasn’t as obvious.

Swing and a near miss! 

from 4.07.2009

I think I finally understand everything from a ‘Big Picture’ standpoint. Learning Pickup that is. There are 3 main parts to pickup (and a couple thousand smaller parts.) But the 3 main parts to successful pickup are:

1. Talk to girls (including opening)
2. Game skills: attraction, comfort, escalation, seduction, logistics, etc
3. Inner gme: mainly CONFIDENCE.

And you need all 3. I figured out WHY I was actually hooking up and having MORE sex as an afc BEFORE finding the community. Simple. Because I was OPENING more. Even when I was drunk-sarging after finding the community, the amount of pickup material I read and tried to implement in field (and tried to implement DRUNK without a clear head) was OVERWHELMING. To the point that I actually opened LESS sets. I psyched myself out knowing all the things that could go WRONG with every set.

You know the saying “ignorance is bliss”? Well that’s true! Pre-community, I didn’t know much but I knew that if I wanted to hook up with hot girls I had to TALK to hot girls. And that was enough to get me laid MORE than after I studied pickup and tried to apply it. A lot of the advice I read was flat out BAD too. That didn’t help matters. That amounted to BAD game skills, not good. But the main problem was I was opening LESS. Even when I field tested and eliminated most of the BAD advice from my game and developed decent game skills that would work… I was less successful because I was interacting with fewer hot women.

When I stopped drinking I lost 2 out of 3! I had a pretty decent handle on the “game skills” part by that time. But my confidence went in the shitter… and largely because of that I opened even LESS sets. My confidence is back now. And I have decent “game skills”. All I need to do now is open MORE sets. I’m still not opening all the hot girls I want too. I still chicken out of some sets. I’m doing MUCH better than I was 6 months ago, but not where I want to be yet. Once I fill in that last piece (which is weird you’d think it would be the FIRST thing you handle) look out! Sky is the limit at that point.

I say “talk to girls” not limiting it JUST to opening, because you really don’t HAVE TO open any girls to be successful. As long as there is a situation where you interact with hot women. If you have a huge social circle, you can date exclusively through that and never open a set. Although I would argue that is EXTREMELY limiting. If you have a job where hot girls have to interact with you, you may never have to open. Bartenders come to mind. They don’t have to ever open, girls come to them. Photographers who photograph female models?? How many times have you heard about some nails hot model dating a photographer? It’s easy! He’s in her social circle. And the main reason I want FAME. I doubt famous guys ever open HBs. The HBs come to them. Whether you open, or they come to you is irrelevant. You MUST talk to HBs if you want to sleep with HBs. I still think being able to open is INVALUABLE. Even if you’re a famous female-photographing bartender. Because you’re not always at your bar, you’re not going to work with EVERY hot girl, and not every girl knows why you’re famous. The ability to open strangers is huge.

Opening tons of sets with confidence but without game skills will give you limited success as well. This was AFC-Roly. And I did get laid. But you don’t even want to know how bad the numbers were. MOST girls I opened were NOT attracted to me. I ended up in the dreaded friend-zone with MOST of them. Or they would just throw the bitch shield and not even want to talk to me.

Because I had ZERO game skills. I didn’t know to be cocky/funny. I didn’t know to tease. I didn’t know to NOT tell the girl you think she has pretty eyes. I didn’t know being “the comedian” was killing attraction! I didn’t know to have a REASON to get the number. And the # itself meant nothing. I didn’t know to text flirt THEN call. I didn’t know a casual D2 to IKEA was way preferable to spending $60 on sushi. I did ALL the wrong things!

I only got laid because of sheer numbers. If I had to guess… I’d say for every 50-100 girls I talked to ONE would sleep with me. I still managed to f-close 9 girls the year before I found pickup. But what a brutal way to do it! I think it was ONLY because I was drunk and didn’t feel the sting of rejection as badly that I was able to carry on like that for so long. I had to talk to somewhere between 450-900 girls to get 9 to have sex with me. Ouch!

And of course all the game skills in the world and lots of opening won’t do shit without confidence. But confidence isn’t something you can LEARN, it’s something you EARN and build by facing fear. So really the BEST way to build confidence is to just do it. Just open more sets. THAT is how you get confident.

Anyway…. it’s nice to see all the pieces begin to fall into place. I’m still not there, but it’s not horribly confounding anymore. I know what I need to do. I have good game skills and confidence (there’s always room for improvement of course.) The best thing I can do right now is OPEN more sets. Open HOTTER sets. Stop chickening out on the HB9s with big fake boobs in my face. Those will only get less scary by opening. They certainly don’t get less scary by not opening. FACE FEAR. My confidence is GOOD. Very solid. But not “raging” all the time. OPENING more sets will get it there.  My game skills can always improve. But that area is at least “decent” now. 

from 4.07.2009

This was SOOOO anti-climactic. And let me start right off by saying, this was NOT a new girl. This was a girl I already know casually from the bars. I met her as Drunk-Roly. But I never sexed her up as Drunk Roly. I’m not sure how much of an issue I want to make of that though. Am I just splitting hairs by INSISTING it be a 100% new girl? I think that IS important, and that will happen pretty soon. But THIS was the one that broke the seal. The one that let me know “holy shit, yes I CAN pickup a girl sober!” I still had to go through the entire pickup process with her. I just didn’t have to do an opener.

I know how to open sober, and after this night, I know how to seduce and F-close sober.  I just need to combine the 2 next time. I definitely feel like I “broke the curse!” 

Friday
Soooooooooooooooooooo, I get out to the bar with my buddy. We meet up with his GF and her friends. They’re all cute, but I want to meet NEW girls. So I go looking for opening opportunities when I run into HBLousySex. It’s just a “Heyyyyyyyy how’ve you been?” opener because I already know her. Talk, talk, tease, tease. She starts dancing with me. I dance back. We are nowhere near the dancefloor. People are watching, but I just look at HER. SOLID eye contact, great confidence.

I know she’s a sure thing, almost foolsmate. But that’s not really the issue. Up until this point, I haven’t even been able to escalate sober for fear of “what people might think.” And even when a “sure thing” comes my way I’ve been too crippled by social anxiety to take advantage of it. This is the exact scenario where I blew it the first night I met HBSuperTits and SHE wanted to dance where there was no dancefloor. I was paralyzed with fear. Tonight, months and countless sober nights spent FACING my fear later, I’m totally RELAXED.

We’ve only spent MAYBE 10 minutes talking/flirting/half dancing. It’s super crowded where we are, so I say “Hey let’s go to the dancefloor.” And this is where the bulk of the pickup occurred. We danced for AT LEAST 30 minutes. Probably closer to 45. Great DJ, playing good hip-hop all night.

I don’t care if you are drunk or sober, when you FIRST get on a dancefloor you will be a little “off” a little awkward until you get warmed up. My “off” when I first started going out sober months ago was TERRIBLE! I just felt like I had zero rhythm, until I got loose. I felt like EVERYONE must be watching me – even though they really could care less. The “mental damage” was VERY REAL. Now, sure it’s a LITTLE awkward, not being warmed up, but really, NOT a big deal at all.

About 10 minutes in I hit my stride and was honestly dancing like no one was looking. I was fucking FEARLESS. When a hole would open up I’d move in a fill it, not in the least bit concerned with what people thought. Because if they thought anything it would be “Wow that white guy really has rhythm!” I had nothing to be self-conscious about.

…this is just AMAZING. Never in my wildest thoughts, did I think it would EVER be possible to dance like this sober. It felt EXACTLY like a drunken dance party, except I was sober. This whole time going out, dancing has been getting more and more fun, but it’s never been the same as when I was drunk. Tonight, it was the same.

I made sure to make good eye contact with my chick. And she loved it. But I didn’t latch on to her either. LITERAL push/pull. I’d pull her in, get close, maybe make out a little, then let her go. Wash-rinse-repeat.

I noticed something really cool. While making eye contact with her, EVERY time I’d let out a BIG smile. Like EXTRA big, borderline ridiculous, she would come right in and kiss me. It was like a switch. EVERY single time. I’m telling you guys dancing with confidence, solid eye contact and a big smile (not constantly, of course) is just attraction GOLD.

I also noticed, girls seem to absolutely LOVE when there is a good song on that everybody knows, if you look her dead in the eye and sing/rap a couple lines RIGHT to her. I think it’s the huge confidence you display doing that, but they LOVE it. Attraction-CRACK.

After 30-45 minutes of dancing with some “You’re bad” flirting thrown in. Like every time we make-out it’s HER doing – I just go for it and say “Is it too early to sneak you out of here?” She says “Nope.” I say lets go and pull her out the back door. Hop in my car, talk about…. something so it’s not awkward. STRAIGHT to the bedroom.

I start getting her naked and am SORELY dissappointed. Her tits which looked GREAT in a dress are a big sloppy mess. Like 2 sunny-side up eggs. I don’t know if I’ve just been spoiled with fake boobs and this is what real boobs are like, or hers are just terrible real boobs. But it’s just awful. NOT doing it for me. They aren’t as big as I thought, and they’re so droopy “runny” would almost be an appropriate word. YUCK. I do occassionaly hook up with girls with real boobs  she’s just got AWFUL tits. Terrible. TOTALLY faked me out.

I leave the boobs alone after a brief kiss/fondle and try to go back to kissing, but she is a TERRIBLE kisser! Just awful. The opposite of hot. I roll her over to play with her ass and it’s just…. meh. Not terrible, but not great. Nothing special.

I can’t get a boner for this girl AT ALL. Not even a chubby. She’s just absolutely NOT doing it for me. Shit. Guess I lowered the standards a little TOO much. She looked like an HB7 in the club, but now…. Nothing. I do not want to fuck her. But I NEED to have sober sex damnit!

I’m thinking about how when I hang out with HBShallowCoochie or HBShortStuff, I just want to TEAR their clothes off. And how I kinda want this girl to put hers back on.

I tell her we’ll just watch a movie and try again later. After about 5 tries I finally get her to grab my dick. She’s got great hands and THAT gets me hard. NOT her. She’s absolutely NOT hot enough, but she’s got good hands. Grab a condom, and start at it….

She is the WORST sex I have ever had. In my LIFE. She just lays there. When she does move, she has zero rhythm. She throws me OFF. She keeps squeezing her legs together and almost popping me out every time. And she won’t stop fucking GIGGLING. WHAT is so damn funny? Nothing. She just giggles during sex. Not in a hot way, in an annoying shut-the-fuck-up way.

After 5 minutes I flip her over and try from behind. Mehhhh. I can’t believe how NOT hot this is. I thought sex was like pizza. There’s no such thing as bad pizza. Well there is such a thing as bad sex, and this girl is it. After 5 more minutes I’m losing my boner because I’m so NOT turned on. Wow! Sucks for her. If this had happened in my 20s I probably would have freaked out and thought something was wrong with me. But I know better. I’m a healthy male with a fully functional weiner – when he sees something he wants! And this girl ain’t it.

I just stop and say we’re done. We watch the movie for 10 more minutes. I think about trying again in the morning. But why??? If I’m NOT atrracted to her now, I’m not going to be in the A.M. It’s not nerves, or booze, she’s NOT hot enough, physically or otherwise. So I say “Hey! I’m gonna’ bring you home now.” I bring her home, then I come home and jerk off to porn. Which is 10 times more satisfying.

Hey, I told you it was anti-climactic!  Even though the sex sucked, I feel like a MILLION bucks. I fucking did it! I picked up a girl totally SOBER, went through the whole escalation process, brought her home and f-closed her. I’m STOKED. Sure I still need to do it with a BRAND NEW girl that I meet and open as sober-Roly. But I know that will happen now! I know I can still pick up girls sober. This is just awesome. Crappy sex, but HUGE, huge personal accomplishment. I did it all on my own, by my own confidence. ZERO liquid-courage. I can’t tell you how GOOD that feels. I didn’t think I’d be so HAPPY about lousy sex. 

from 4.03.2009

Thursday

AGAIN, I sat at home with this damned “house anxiety” until MIDNIGHT! The last 3 times I went out solo-sarging nothing bad happened. The worst night I got sucked into talking to a friend all night, the best night (day rather) I number and kiss closed a girl. I think what’s going on is LOGICALLY I know this is not that hard, just open some sets. But emotionally I’m still having a mini freak out. Because for months, no YEARS, solo-sober-sarging had been the “holy grail.” Something to FEAR. So my emotional mind is still worked up about it even though logically I know I can handle it now. I think in time my emotional mind will catch up. I even thought about smoking, even though I just quit earlier in the day, but quickly realized that is indeed just an EXCUSE not to open sets. The idea WAS comforting. Like “Ok I can just go out to smoke.” ….but that’s NOT why I want to go out. I want to go out to open sets.

Get to bar at 12:30, I have one goal in mind. Open 10 sets. This late open 5 sets is more realistic. I go to get a water and scan the bar for targets. Post up next to two blondes, both just “Ok.” Hb6/HB7. Hot ENOUGH. They’re playing this song that goes “I. Am not…. a whore!” over and over. So I open them with “Ohhhhh man EVERY time I come in here they play this song! It’s like they’re trying to tell me something.” It hooks right away.

Would it have hooked with HB9s? I wonder about things like that. And if it didn’t how much of that is because they are hotter and behave differently and how much of that is because my confidence is not the same around HB9s. I think it’s largely the latter. Because naturals who are no better looking or more successful in life than me, can pull HB9s all the time. And the only difference between them and me is confidence. ….for now. 

“Big booty Hos!” comes on. HB6 says “Hey it’s your song!” I say “Noooooo, it’s YOUR song!” Her jaw drops so I put on an extra big smile and she’s Ok. I think “I love sloppy hos” from Sunday night didn’t fly because I was seated, she was standing, eye contact was SHIT, and she couldn’t see me smile. If we’d been eye level and she saw a BIG smile after that comment, I bet I would have gotten off with a playful slap on the arm and boatloads of attraction.

Long story short, I stay in set with them instead of bouncing to try to open 9 more. They weren’t that cute, but I don’t know, I kinda’ wanted to see how far I could push it. I half ass danced with them for a couple minutes. Shitty song more than anything else. On my way to the bathroom I saw these two HB7s with HB11 tits. Just PERFECT fake double-Ds on both of them. I couldn’t do it! It would have had to be a dancefloor approach and I just haven’t worked up to that yet. I will. AFTER I start pulling again (sober) with regular game.

The girls are in town for 1 night from Vegas. I try to get them back to my place. Nope. I offer them a ride to where they are staying. Nope. I don’t know how to not be “just some guy.” It’s a safety thing; they don’t know I’m not a rapist. How do I get around that??? Maybe a wing would have helped, because in their mind at least he’s a witness! Seriously, I’m sure girls think about stuff like that. I kiss close the HB7. TWICE. and call it a night. No point in getting a number. Yeah I do go to Vegas, but she’s too drunk to have the interaction be meaningful at all. ….and I just wasn’t that into her anyway.

On my way OUT through the parking structure I run into the HB11-tits girls. I open with “Damn rain” to a lukewarm grunt from one of them and then “This was TOTALLY not in my Welcome to California brochure.” and they both bust out laughing and opened right up. But I blew it. I couldn’t even make eye contact with them!! I let the perfect tits intimidate the shit out of me. I’ve got to remember they are JUST girls, like the HB6 and HB7 I just kiss closed. They react to the same things – CONFIDENCE chief among them. I opened great, but I fully took MYSELF out after that by having TERRIBLE body language and eye contact. Yeah it was after closing time and they were walking to the car, but ANYTHING is possible. I coulda pulled a number and a kiss in 5 minutes. I’ve done that before as Drunk-Roly. I didn’t BELIEVE. Next time I will.

Not a bad night, for solo-sober-sarging ONE hour. There IS something awfully gratifing about going out with NO friends, not spending 1 penny on booze and within an hour’s time being able to kiss close a total stranger. I don’t know ANY of my friends that could do that. I couldn’t have done it 6 months ago. …shit, ONE month ago. I’m FINALLY able to do this! It’s only a matter of time before I’m able to pull girls back to the house for “sexy time!” all by myself. I love winging with a good wing… but this is REALLY gratifing. I feel like I’m winning. Like I conquered fear. And I wasn’t tempted to smoke at all…. because I was IN SET all night. That’s all smoking is!! Something other than opening

From 4.02.2009

One last thing…. I’ve somehow managed to get myself re-addicted to smoking cigarettes at bars. It started on a date with HBShortStuff. After her 4th smoke break I caved and had one with her. And I’ve been smoking like a chimney at bars ever since. I made peace with this and told myself “This is my LAST crutch. Once I get laid sober for the first time, I’ll give this one up and quit.”

And I suppose part of it is that I like having SOMETHING bad in my life. The word “sober” can actually have a negative connotation. People think of some BORING straight-edge person that doesn’t have any fun, and goes to meetings instead of going to bars and picking up women. Nothing could be further from the truth with me, but I suppose on some subconscious level I’m trying to compensate for that. Like “Look I smoke! I’m not totally on the straight and narrow! I’m fun!” Even though I know booze does not equal fun, I know other people don’t understand that and subconsciously I think the decision to smoke probably comes from societal pressure to be cool. To have SOME vice in life. Well fine, my vice can be casual sex with smoking hot women. 

Aside from adding MORE pressure to the already intense pressure I feel for that first-sober-f-close – in the sense that I’m even MORE anxious to get laid so I can finally stop smoking already! It’s actually HURTING my game. Going to smoke a cigarette is simple SOMETHING TO DO, something other than opening sets! That’s all it is. So I quit today. I just put my pack in my neighbor’s mailbox for him to “enjoy”. I don’t need it. The ROOT cause, what I’m avoiding by smoking, what I really NEED, is to open sets. In that regard, theoretically quitting smoking should help me get that first sober-f-close sooner than later, because instead of smoking I’ll be opening sets. Sure it’s EASY to open with “Do you have a light?” But what I can’t think of ANYTHING else? That’s the lazy way.

I don’t even like cigarettes. I seem to be lucky in that I can stop and start at will and the nicotine addiction is not THAT compelling for me. It’s not superior willpower, it just doesn’t seem to affect me like it does some people. Not sober anyway. Drunk I would absolutely FIEND cigarettes, but sober they’re kind of gross.

from 4.02.2009

Wednesday
Last night I went out just for an hour or so, just to open a couple sets. Long story short, I ran into a female friend and talked to her all night and did not open ONE set. Oblivious to this fact, on the way home I’m thinking “Damn! When is this going to get better? Almost 8 months now! When am I going to start getting laid again?”

And then it dawned on me that I didn’t open any sets! Open sets = good night. Do anything other than open sets = lousy night. I mean it can still be a FUN night. I like socializing with friends. But from a pickup point of view it won’t be a very productive night if you don’t OPEN SOME DAMN SETS!

A whole HOST of things can keep you from opening sets. FRIENDS can be your worst Pickup enemy! I can’t tell you how many nights I went out WITH friends or ran into friends and socialized with them all night instead of opening. Smoking cigarettes instead of opening sets. Playing pool. Going out JUST to get drunk. For me lately…. getting a water, then going to pee, then getting a water, then going to pee, etc…. it’s all just a distraction that keeps me from OPENING SETS.

It’s very humbling to realize that 2+ years into this quest for self improvement, that it all comes back to OPENING. I’m not opening enough sets!

My BEST nights are usually when I’m opening a lot. I can vividly remember from my drunk, afc life telling a friend at the Goat in Costa Mesa, “I’m gonna’ count to 10!” Meaning I was going to start talking to girls, keep track of how many, and talk to 10 new girls. I made it to SEVEN before some girl was sucking my face off. Opening sets = success. It’s THE defining attribute of a PUA and THE thing lacking in an AFC. Again, very humbling to see this once again 2 years in.

So why am I not opening? IT’S THE DAMN ALCOHOL DEPENDENCE.

The problem really is 16 years of alcohol dependence for sarging. Not JUST 16 year dependence. I learned to drink before I learned to talk to girls, so I NEVER did it without that crutch.

I always thought it was weird that hot girls would intimidate me as much as they do. I’m a confident person in other areas of my life. More so than average I think. Anyone that attempts stand-up comedy has more confidence than your average Joe. But hot women just CRIPPLE me. If I could freakin’ RELAX and just talk to them like fat girls, I’d be getting laid every week. That’s really all it is. I’m massively intimidated by their beauty. And it’s SPECIFIC to this area of my life. Nothing else frightens me like this. ….except dancing in front of people.

But it ALL MAKES SENSE. My entire dating life, I’ve been using alcohol to work up my nerve, and get AROUND the fear of approaching beautiful women. So no wonder, even at 34 years old, I never “got over it”. In fact it got WORSE.

That’s what I just could NOT see clearly until I read that book. I kinda’ knew. I knew in the back of my mind, my gut, my instinct, but I didn’t see it clearly until I read that book. You think booze HELPS with approach anxiety – and it DOES in the short term, because it lessens the fear by dulling your senses to the point that you don’t feel it anymore. But it’s precisely because you never actually FACE the fear on your own, that in the long term it actually makes the fear WORSE!!! It’s counter productive.

It’s exactly like being stranded at sea and trying to drink salt water to satisfy your thirst. It will work in the short term, but because of the salt, it actually makes you MORE dehydrated in the long run.

This isn’t just theory, or crap I’m typing on a web forum. This has HUGE negative implications in the real world with real women. It is THE REASON I have not had sex with a new girl in almost 8 months now. I’m paying the price NOW for 16 years of dependence. I not only used booze to work around my fear – here’s the kicker - it made the fear WORSE.

Hot women should not be THAT intimidating to an otherwise confident man. This is the answer to LordSwaroski’s question of “hey why aren’t you confident?” IT’S THE FUCKING DRINKING!!!

I wish you guys could understand. If you only knew that it TAKES confidence, doesn’t give it…. you’d never touch it again. I know there is intense social pressure to drink, and anyone who doesn’t is branded a “weirdo.” Trust me, I know. I feel that every time someone finds out that I don’t drink. But it’s NOT worth it. Who gives a fuck what they think. Is your CONFIDENCE a fair price to pay for acceptance?? I don’t think so.

Most people don’t continue to drink because of peer pressure anyway. They STARTED to drink because of that, for sure! But they continue because they truly BELIEVE there is a benefit. They only see the short term and how it makes it easier to talk to girls. …..but the PRICE you pay for that!! This 8 sexless months right here. This CRIPPLING fear around beautiful women. THIS IS THE PRICE YOU PAY. You don’t want this. I’m telling you guys…. get off the bottle. It’s NOT the answer. You know you don’t have to crash a car or loose a job or have something else horrible happen, before you make a POSITIVE change. I didn’t. I just hated being DEPENDENT.

Alright I’ve ranted enough. I can’t help it, I’m passionate about this. It’s like I’ve found the fucking key to true happiness, and I want people to know… If ONE other person reading this can see that I’m right and get OFF that crutch… It’s not easy. The “mental damage” is very real. And the transition period before you’re back to yourself, back to getting laid again is…. ?? Who knows. Almost 8 months so far!  You know what, it’s worth it even if it’s 2 years. It really is. 

I only bring all this up to explain the REASON I’m not opening sets. But it’s not an EXCUSE not to open sets in the future. My new goal in the short term is to get back to basics and “count to 10.“ I need to talk to TEN NEW girls every time I go out. Watch how fast I make progress if I do that.

I’m amazed at how long I’ve been able to fool myself into thinking I was being productive just because I would GO out. But not opening sets oropening 1-3 a night, isn’t really accomplishing anything. ….then again, 7 months ago FRESH into sobriety, finally facing those fears, honestly JUST GOING OUT, was all I could handle! That’s how bad the mental damage from alcohol dependence is! That’s how CRIPPLING the fear can be. You won’t feel it until you quit. Try it! Try going out sober just ONE NIGHT… That’s when you find out what you’re really made of.

I can’t stress this enough. It is THE REASON I am intimidated by beautiful women. The alcohol CAUSED that fear. If you guys knew me, had sarged with me, knew my personality, watched me in set with HB6 girls, you’d be shocked I’m not getting laid more. …until you saw me CRUMBLE with an HB9. It’s ALL because of that fear. And it’s ALL caused because of fucking alcohol!

I talk about not getting laid in X amount of time, so you could think I’ve accomplished nothing. But that’s not true. The good news is I’ve made tremendous progress. I went out alone last night, and the time before that and the time before that. Solo-sober-sarging. This was the HOLY GRAIL for me 8 months ago. I couldn’t even IMAGINE doing it. Now I do it all the time. That didn’t happen until this past month! That’s how long it took to undo the damage. I’m FAR more confident around hot women now. They still intimidate me, and I’m not where I want to be. But I’m not absolutely CRIPPLED around an HB9 like I was 8 months ago. I feel my comfort level around HB9s is very close to what it was when I was blind-drunk. That’s amazing. So I’m getting there…

I’m EXCITED for what’s coming up. I mean I got the biggest hindrance to my PU success handled. I’m OFF the crutch and have been for 8 months. When I start getting laid again, can you imagine how good I could get?!! When I finally have beaten that fear and start pulling again… oh man, I’ll have the “fearless” benefit that everyone uses booze for but combined with the sharp, clear head of a sober person. I’ll have an unfair advantage over all the drunk guys in the bar. Right now THEY have the advantage, because I have not yet achieved that “fearless” you get when you’re drunk. But I know I will. Just from the mental changes I’ve already experienced. When I get that…. when I can get the “fearless” feeling only sloppy drunks and the best naturals can get, combined with a clear head and solid game… I’ll be unstoppable. 

from 4.01.2009

Sunday NIGHT
So I’m totally convinced now. Sunday DAY is the way to go. Sunday nights SUCK at my local spot. Ridiculously high bitch shields and a terrible ratio. Not just last week. Consistently. “I want you to pee in my mouth” girl. That was Sunday day. It’s just a completely different vibe. I realized I’ve been hitting this place up Sunday NIGHT for MONTHS now with zero success. No numbers, no girls brought home…. It’s insanity to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Last 2 Sunday days however, I pull a number, and nearly pull a girl to the house, had I not gotten greedy and let her go for the girl with the bigger boobs.

Part of it is Sunday night is their “service industry night” so the girls are 90% hired guns. Hired guns, even on their night off, IMHO have much worse attitude and bitch shields than normal girls. I think they even take out their frustration of having to be “nice” to customers by being super bitches to guys that approach them. That’s my theory.

Another factor is Sunday day I get to wear a black tank top that accentuates the positives – my tattoos and new muscles. I actually look BETTER in a tank top than shirtless, because it hides my belly. Which is not super fat, but I’m not “ripped” yet either. The community wants you to think girls are 10% physical and it’s 90% “game” and other attraction switches. As Tony Stark said in Ironman, “I respectfully disagree.” I think it’s about50% physical, 50% everything else. I don’t know many good looking/tall guys that struggle to meet women. It’s not all physical or male models would get all the girls, and they don’t. It’s actors, rock stars, athletes. (not comedians…)

Anyway, it’s 12:30 at night. I’d already pulled the number during the day, so I have nothing to prove. But I decide to go out for an hour JUST for the sake of opening some sets. Just for practice. I know it’s going to be all dudes and bitch shields, I’m not planning on accomplishing anything other than opening some sets.

Go to the first bar for 10 minutes before last call. It’s 3-1 the wrong way, AGAIN. Run into a guy friend outside. I open 1 girl at the bar. She’s trying to squeeze between me and the guy next to me. I act like I’m throwing elbows at her “Nope! No, get back!” all with a big smile. She’s all “Fine, I’ll go over here!” and moves to the OTHER side of the guy next to me. ….what’d I tell you about big bitch shields. Any NORMAL girl worth talking to would have laughed.

That’s the other benefit to opening them with C&F teasing. You know RIGHT away whether the girl is someone with a sense of humor worth talking to or whether she’s an uptight bitch. Honestly, if that weeds out a couple HB9s that can’t take a joke – Fuck em. So be it. When you open a lot of sets you can afford to offend a few.

Go take a lap, run into a girl that number closed me a week or two ago. I fluff with her. She won’t make eye contact with me, checking out the whole bar, has nothing to say, then some guy shows up and she goes over in isolation with him. No dice. I doubt I did anything wrong, he probably just has a 3 hour headstart on me.

Go NEAR the dancefloor and there are 2 girls dancing HB??? I don’t know I didn’t even look at her / and HB9.5. Just RETARDED Hot. Surrounded by 4 or 5 chodes. I don’t have the cohones to make the approach. And it would have to be dancefloor approach anyway. Which I have purposely decided to back burner until I start getting laid again (sober this time) with regular game. So no dice again.

Bar closes, everybody outside. HB7/HB9 outside. Call the 9 HBWhiteTop. I open with “So are you going to Other bar across the street? We get an extra 1/2 hour over there, after this place closes.” I’m expecting horrible bitch shields but they are all excited and walk across the street with me.

On the walk over

HBWhiteTop Remember that guy I was dancing with all night. Where is he? He’s brazilian (or whatever it was) and so am I. That’s why we danced all night, it was meant to me, blah, blah, blah”
Roly He was probably your cousin. You danced with your cousin all night.
HBWhiteTop/HB7 Laughing.
Roly You probably made out with him. (to the HB7 now) Ohhhh man remember that night at Firstbar, when HBWhiteTop made out with her cousin! That was hilarious.
HBWhiteTop/HB7 Laughing.

Get in line at second bar, I’m messing with the girls cuz I know the bouncer. “Don’t let them in!” HBWhiteTop and I start play fighting and she accidentally wacks me in the junk. I say something about get off my weiner…. or something. I can’t remember exactly.

The girls grab a table and I just sit with them. Don’t want to appear needy, but also don’t want to bounce out of set for no reason. AFCs are absolutely SWARMING around us. Dying for a way in, and all liquored up with fake confidence now.

I find out where the girls are from, fluff, fluff. Some teasing shit I can’t remember but HBWhiteTop was playfully hitting me, so something decent.

Some guy rolls up next to us, just stands there for a second. I look over and he says hi to me first. Smart man. Then he opens HBWhiteTop with “Where do I know you from?” No confidence. Girls are throwing IODs. He persists. Then I hear this “Soooooooooooo, how do you guys all know each other?” Holy shit, it’s probably a community guy! Good for him. But he’s still my competition, so I say “We all went to 4th grade together.” The girls immediately agree. “Remember Mrs. McCraken?!” Yay! High fives. He says a couple more things, then wanders off.

I’ll have to remember that for next time. If you’ve got an inside joke on the other guy it’s a great AMOG tool…. and half the time he won’t even know what’s up. I did the same thing with HBSuperTits, with that whole “We’re a married Polygamous couple” thing.

HBWhiteTop wants to know how this bar is on Thursday. I tell her it’s great, we should go. She says “For real, no flakes!” I say “Well cool, why don’t you give me your number and blah, blah, blah…” But now she can’t hear me. She CAN hear me, she doesn’t want to give me her number. More fluff-fluff-tease.

Some OTHER guy rolls up that she knows from the first bar. She’s all happy to see him and takes off immediately to go see his friend. Maybe the guy she was dancing with earlier?? Who knows, who cares. Her friend goes to I get up and walk around. Easy come/ easy go.

I run into a guy I run into all the time, talk for a while and get his number because he’d be a good wing man.

HBWhiteTop comes back around. I’m sitting on a speaker. I say “Hey!” she comes right over and stands next to me. Joan Jet’s “I love Rock and Roll.” is playing.

I say “Hey it’s your song.” and I start singing, “I LOVE SLOPPY HO’S!”

She stops, looks at me and says “You’re so disrespectful” and walks off. Ooooooops too far! But completely HILARIOUS. Look, I know I over-did it, but I’ve been erring on the side of too funny/ too nice for years. Now I know where TOO much of an asshole is. Not the end of the world. I think it’s a GOOD thing. I need to lose a few more sets this way, until I figure out where that line is, instead of pussyfooting around and being super “nice” and “funny” hoping the hot girls will like me. Fuck the hot girl, who gives a shit if she “likes” me. From now on I treat them just like everyone else.

She walks across the bar. And for like the next 10 minutes she keeps looking over at me. I know she didn’t LIKE that. But I KNOW…. I know, I know, I KNOW, part of her is attracted to me. She won’t forget that. I’m not saying over do it and be an asshole on purpose, this was an acccident. But shit! Even if you do overdo it, you’re STILL better off. I’d rather have her hate me tonight and remember me next time, then throw me in the “Harmless” friendzone category. Bar closes, everybody leaves, end of story. I ALMOST said something to her on her way out, but I was in set with a dude. I should have just said “Excuse me a minute” and said whatever I was gonna’ say. Oh well, live and learn. Not bad for 1 hour of a crap night with a HORRIBLE ratio.

from 3.30.2009

Sunday Day
Went out late for Sunday-Funday, around 3:30pm. I stopped at a friend’s house who was BBQing. 2 girls showed up and parked about 100 yards away. They pulled a bike out and the one girl rode the bike over. As soon as they got to the house I opened her with “You REALLY had to bike from the car all the way to here?” Big smile. Nice. That’s the tone I want to set with every set. The girls weren’t hot so I stuck around for 20 minutes and biked to the bar by myself.

I ran into the roommate of the girl I sexed up in Vegas a YEAR ago. I fluffed with her a bit, but…. that would be VERY hard to swing. I did have sex with her roommate afterall. They were going to another bar and I told them I’d see them over there.

Start heading to the patio and get opened by another female friend. I’m not sure if I would hook up with this chick. She’s cute, ok boobs, but a little thick. Not horrible. I’d probably do it if it was easy, but not worth ANY amount of effort.

But she’s surrounded by girls. So I open the girl next to her, HBRed….. with something. She says her name is Brie. I tell her you think that would be unique but she’s like the 5th Brie I met. “I’m special!” “Not in my book!” all smiles, she’s loving it. A seat opens up so I lock in next to her. I just go all comfort with her but tease her whenever I can. Because that’s what WORKS! Not “some” teasing. Be MERCILESS with it. That’s how I got HBShallowCoochie, HBADD, etc.

I discovered a GREAT way to deal with when a girl is too stupid to follow what you’re saying. I noticed this a LOT when I moved to California. It hardly ever happened with educated college girls in Boston, but out here, it’s a regular occurrence. Hey no one ever said hot girls would be smart! I can’t get TOO sarcastic with these Floozies because they won’t get the humor and it will go right over their head.

I’m not talking about boring a girl with car-talk or computer-talk. I mean when you’re being very witty, stuff that would KILL on an intelligent woman, but they don’t get it. My solution has been to calibrate and just dumb-it-down and make everything obvious if I have to. Know your audience. Not a big deal. But today I said something and she was just space-ing out. And I simply called her on it. “You’re not even following along at all are you? Yeah I see how it is, with your strawberry BLONDE hair!” Insinuating that she’s a dumb-blonde. Big smiles, totally teasing. And it was just GOLD. She came right back in and started qualifing herself to me trying to prove that she could keep up. Perfect! I’ll definitely be using this technique again.

I kept pouring it on. Told her we’re totally fighting now. This is never gonna’ work out, but she can be my new BFF. It’s attraction-CRACK! I KNOW what to do. I know what works. I just have to remember to do it, and especially NOT be afraid to do it with the really hot girls. This girl is just cute, HB6/7, so it’s easy. Her roommate wants me to feel her leg, so I do. Nice and smooth. I go to touch HBRed’s leg “Noooooo, don’t!” I do and she hasn’t shaved in a day or two. I act like she cut my hand and I’m bleeding. POUR IT ON.

Somehow the Simpsons movie comes up, she hasn’t seen it. I tell her I have it and she should give me her # so we can watch it. Just like that easy number close. I text her “Something Dirty” (Kudos HumorUS!). Eventually they split. She goes outside and her roommate goes to close her tab. I see her standing outside in the cold. I figure I could probably kiss close her. So I go outside, hug her to keep her warm and plant a little kiss on her. Not a big makeout, just a peck. I say “All right, well we got that out of the way.” Blah, blah, blah. Her roommate comes out, I say goodbye as my friend comes to say hi and she kinda touches my arm as she’s trailing off.

Pretty easy! OPEN >> TEASE. I’m really glad I stayed in set when the opportunity was there and didn’t just go on a useless opening rampage. I DO need to open more, but that’s not the end goal. She was the FIRST set of the night I opened and I stayed in until I got the number and then the kiss. That’s the way to do it.

While I’m out on the patio with HBRed to my left and another girl to my right, HBSuperTits shows up. I see her, ignore her, let her see me and then said “Oh hey!” and gave her a wave and went right back to my conversation. Because 1) It’d be dumb to CHASE her again like I did a week ago when the ratio was stacked HIGHLY in her favor. 2) I’m actually making progress with HBRed. 3) If there is any chance of hooking up with HBSuperTits she NEEDS to see that I have options. This is the best time for a little jealousy plot. 2 seats down my buddy knows her and says hi, so she is briefly engaged in the group dynamic. And she says “I still have your hat.” Big IOI I think.

I talked to her for less than 5 minutes on my way to the bathroom. Which was an unintentional jealousy plot with HBRed. She had eyes BURNING into the back of my head. HBSuperTits IS super hot, other girls will notice that.

After HBRed leaves, I take a lap or two and decide to go to that other bar and see if Vegas girl’s roommate is there. I think about “working” on HBSuperTits. But I already have her #. She mentioned my hat. She has SEEN me rocking it with other girls. I think at this point it would actually be better to play hard to get and just take off. Then proceed like normal. Text flirt, call her up and try for a D2 again. Why compete and CHASE in a bar full of dudes, when I already have the number? I got some attraction back today. That pre-selection switch flipped. She saw me surrounded on the patio. I’m in a good spot. I decide the call later would be better than chase now. And I’m freakin’ hungry.

I walk past HBSuperTits one last time. She’s in set with 2 guys. I just go right up in front of her and do a little dance with her to whatever song was on. She says “This is my friend somedouche.” I say “Hi somedouche.” and shake his hand. I didn’t realize this when I was drinking but other guys try to out-alpha you with grip strength in a hand shake, body language and eye contact. I won on all 3 fronts. Not because I was trying to, because my confidence is soaring. I’m really a different person in the bar now than when I was drunk. Just totally relaxed.

HBSupertits: “This is Roly, we lovvvvvvvvvvvvve him!”
Roly: “You only THINK you love me.”
HBSupertits: “You’re doing GOOD today.”
Roly: “Good at what?”
HBSupertits: “You’re just doing good today.”

She’s PROBABLY talking about the patio-pimping, but who knows. I don’t know…. I don’t want to get too excited about this latest interaction with her. I mentally gave up last week, but it seems like I’m back in the pole position. I think the best thing I can do is keep going out, keep opening sets, call up HBRed, so I actually HAVE an abundance mentality. And in the meantime, text-flirt with HBSupertits a bit and go for that D2 again. Why not?? Don’t count on it, but no reason to give up. It seems like she still has some interest or she wouldn’t have brought up the hat. That’s a definite IOI.

I split, go to the next bar. Vegas roommate is not there. I open some OLD ass cougars. Late 40s easy. The one friend zone chick that gives me false hope shows up. She’s kissed me like 4 times now when she’s drunk. But it’s like a 5 year deep friendzone. So I don’t put much faith in it. She kisses me on the mouth AGAIN. Not a makeout, but it’s not my cheek. I made out with her on Friday a little bit. I forgot to mention that. I don’t know….. Don’t want to waste time on a MFFZ girl, but maybe just POURING it on with merciless teasing would work. That just seems like a fool’s challenge. I’d rather spend my time with NEW girls.

Anyway, today was good. Back to basics and it worked. Open >> Tease, stay in set, don’t fear comfort and number close the girl. Easy. She does NOT have the big fake tits I like, but honestly as a potential first sober-sex girl, she’s HOT ENOUGH. I need to stop being so damn picky.

from 3.29.2009

Well Friday and Saturday were largely unsuccessful. I blew HOURS Friday trying to turn a friendzone girl. And hours Saturday trying to do dance floor approaches. Bad decisions on my part, I’ve already learned both those lessons. Neither of those things should be my focus right now.

I started to feel bad about this, like “Shit ANOTHER ‘fun’ night out. I’m tired of having fun nights, when am I going to bring a damn girl home! Great I’ve proved to myself 100 times now that I don’t need booze for fun. I’m glad I could bullshit with all my drunk friends and have just as much fun as they did. Freakin great. When am I gonna’ have some damn sex!?”

But then as soon as I think that, I start thinking about making it through the transition period. About Arnold’s quote and how I want to be a Champion at this, and you can’t be a champion if you don’t make it through the pain period. How I just need to toughen up, push through, NEVER GIVE UP.

Then about how this would be SO much easier if I just went back to drinking. How if I went out drunk TONIGHT I would just be charging into sets again like a raging bull. And how awesome that would be. But how could I go back now? I’ve been enlightened in the truest sense of the word. I can’t KNOW the truth about the booze trap and what it REALLY does to you and then willingly walk back into it. I would never go back to something that TAKES CONFIDENCE in the long-run anyway.

Lots of back and forth in my head. I’m very tormented about all this. This transition really is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

And I can’t help but think of all the positives. I spent $2 last night tipping the bartender for water, instead of $50 getting drunk. I drove home. I have no hangover today. I will actually achieve the body I’ve always wanted because I’m not consuming thousands of empty calories each week. “Elite” bodyfat levels are impossible if you’re a heavy drinker. I REMEMBER my night clearly. That’s a big one. I don’t feel like I’m in some time-warp anymore because I clearly remember LIFE. And I’ve become a happier person overall. It ALWAYS bothered me deep down that I had to get drunk to have fun. And that depressed me. When I wasn’t drinking I wasn’t as happy and AT PEACE as I am now. I have rediscovered the simple pleasures in life. Like a bike ride by the beach. Like the fact that dancing is fun because dancing is fun, not because you’re wasted. I’m enjoying LIFE without having to get drunk first. The highs in life are much more enjoyable on their own and the lows aren’t so bad anymore. I’m just plain HAPPIER. Despite not getting laid for 7+ months now! Aside from that one not-so-small fact I’m truly happier and glad I made this decision.

The positives are so compelling that worst case scenario, if I can’t ever pickup at a bar again, I’d probably be willing to fulfill my need to date from match.com and day game. The positives are too great! It’s worth it.

And I noticed something else last night. My drunk friends are not picking up either! I went out with 7 guys last night, upstairs neighbors and friends of friends and NOT ONE of them hooked up with a girl. Not one. One of them brought a girl, but none of them hooked up with a new girl. They made VERY few approaches, got drunk with each other and went home. And they were all drinking heavily. So it’s NOT something magical about alcohol.

That’s when I was reminded again of the problem. It’s not drunk Roly gets laid more than sober Roly because of booze. It’s that drunk Roly made more approaches. And more approaches explicitly equals more sex. It’s a DIRECT relationship. I approached 3 girls last night. Drunk Roly would approach 10 on a good night. And zero on a bad night. Lets not get it twisted; I did go out night after night after night drunk, not make approaches and not get laid too! But it is easier to make approaches drunk, then to make them sober. ….NOW. I believe I can learn and get so good that it’s actually easier sober. You know the drill, I’m beating a dead horse here, it all boils down to fear.

There was one girl at the end of the night on Saturday. After blowing 3 hours trying to make dancefloor approaches (when I KNOW better…. NOT the thing to do now) I go to the dive bar next door to work on regular game. And I see a girl I’d opened Friday. I re-open her and tease her some more. She had these plaid shorts on and I told her “Hey I have a table-cloth like that!” She got a little pissy, but she was attracted to me and stayed in set. I could see it in her eyes. They DON’T have to like you to be attracted to you. I keep laying it on. “What I’m just saying I want to lay you down on the kitchen table and have breakfast on you. I want to eat my Cheerios on you.”

Back and forth, fluff, fluff. Good kino, great eye contact. She tells me how nobody wears shorts like hers and people were commenting on them all night. I said “yeah well that’s good. That’s because you’re different, but in a good way. I could tell that about you. That’s a good thing.” That’s not exactly what I said, something like that but more elegant. Anyway it was a good qualifier. Which I usually don’t do. I usually only throw it in if they’re BEGGING me for it “Why do you like me?” type stuff. I’m still not sure just how necessary a qualifier is. I don’t know that EVERY girl needs one. “Cause Mystery says” is not enough reason for me. I’ll keep field testing and see what works for me.

She’s on her way out; the kino is GREAT. She keeps slapping me. Eye contact is great. She says she’s leaving then I see her again 2 minutes later. I say “You SUCK at leaving.” More kino, she scratches me with her nails. And I pull her in for a kiss. She says “Noooooo!” and won’t go for it. But I was totally unphased “What?! I was just going for the cheek.” Big smile. She leaves the bar.

Going for a kiss and not getting it. NOT that terrible. I’m glad I did it. I KNEW. I knew she wasn’t ready if I’m honest. I have great kiss intuition. But I’ve sucked at escalating sober lately. So I went for it “just because”. And it felt great.

In 3 hours of standing around trying to make dance floor approaches, I accomplished nothing. In 10 minutes at the dive bar I had a girl ALMOST attracted enough to kiss me. I think she was attracted enough, but there wasn’t enough comfort. So game shouldn’t be brutally hard. Just make those approaches. Going out NOT making approaches is what SUCKS. Once I get in set I’m pretty decent.

Here I am again back to square one – MAKE MORE APPROACHES. This is the key to my success. This is what booze does for you. Why people THINK they need to drink to get laid. It definitely DOES make it easier to approach women. But that can be learned. Game on. Not giving up. I’m TOO damn close.

3.27.2009

Last night I realized something. I NEED a stock opener. Or a couple stock openers. When I’m ON, when I’m in the zone, I don’t need that. I can just pull something awesome out of my ass. But last night, once AGAIN, I got stuck in that “quiet place” a couple times. Some stock openers would help me tremendously. I do NOT like canned material. I had a bad experience with it in the first months of this FR, watching it send girls RUNNING. But I can’t let that bad experience blind me to the fact that NOW I do in fact need SOME canned material. Not DHV  stories, not BULLSHIT that happened to some other guy, just a couple stock openers.

So hold that thought for a minute.

For whatever reason I was thinking about how the BEST PU advice I’ve ever read and successfully applied was DavidDs advice on being cocky/funny around HOT girls. He’s 100% right. That shit IS super attractive. That’s what my whole “Remember to TEASE them!” is about. Same thing. NOT goofy funny. NOT “comedian mode.” COCKY funny. Not funny about the situation, funny about THEM. Ripping on them.

I’m really GOOD at this when I remember to do it. Like I said last post about that female friend I am not attracted to. I just POUR it on with her. Naturally. I’m not trying to, it just comes out. The TRICK then is to remember to do it with HBs. This is where I have to fight my instincts every step of the way. My nautral instinct is the HOTTER the girl, the LESS I should rip on her, make fun of her, bust her balls and the more I should be “nice” and kiss her ass. When the opposite is true. I have to REMEMBER to go cocky/funny with HBs. It doesn’t just happen.

But if I do……. Ohhhhhhhhhh man! HUGE success. It’s HOW I wound up having sex with HBStrippergirl, HB-ADD, HBShallowCoochie, HBShortStuff. HOT girls. REALLY hot girls. For whatever reason, the nights I met those girls I did NOT do what my instincts tell me to and kiss their ass, I didn’t subconsciously try to impress them by going “comedian mode” and wind up in the friend zone, I went COCKY funny. I teased the shit out of them. Out of HOT girls. I specifically remember from the HBStrippergirl PU telling her it was never gonna’ work because she lived in Newport. Telling her I wanted to climb her and plant a flag on her head like Mt.Everest because she was so damn tall. That shit is AWESOME! And it’s FUN! I JUST have to remember to do that with EVERY hot girl I see.

Ok so still have that thought about needing stock openers? Good.

Here’s an exercise I came up with last night AFTER sarging. I don’t know what made me think of this… I think it was realizing I need stock openers, REMEMBERING how well cocky/funny has worked for me, and being on a Las Vegas website looking for info on the CityPlace bankruptcy but inadvertantly stumbling into their nightlife photos – of super hot chicks.

That perfect storm of events last night at 3:00am, led me to come up with this exercise. I tried it for about 3 minutes last night, and honestly I think it’s probably one of the BEST things you can do to help your game. ….and if somebody else already thought of this – very probable – I’m not trying to steal your thunder, this is just what I came up with last night.

Get online and go to one of those nightlife websites with tons of pictures of hot girls. It’s best if you can find one with a “Next” button that lets you scroll through pictures instead of clicking thumbnails. Because then they just pop up and surprise you. You don’t know what’s coming. pubdistrict.com is one that has loads of picturs of LA/OC hot girls. But I’m sure there are hundreds of sites like this.

Click on one of the pictures of a hot chick or chicks (it’s ususally 2 or more girls). When the big picture pops up, OPEN the set. I’m serious. Don’t just look at the girl and think of how hot she is and how you want to fuck her and hot great her tits are, OPEN the set. Go!!! Now before she walks past. Pull something out of your ass and open her.

It’s hard isn’t it! In real life you’ve got about 2 seconds to come up with something. FIVE if you’re lucky and saw her coming. It’s not even a real girl it’s a fucking PICTURE on a computer screen, but it’s shocking how it has ALMOST the same power over you. The FEAR is very real. The dumbfounded-by-her-beauty and speechless is VERY real. This is GREAT practice opening. Great practice thinking on your feet if you’re going with spontaneous openers. And it showed me how BADLY I need some stock openers.

Remember the bit about how successful I’ve been in the past with cocky/funny? Good.

Take it one step further. Don’t just open. Open with something cocky/funny. NOW we’re getting somewhere. You may feel like a retard opening PICTURES of sets on your computer, but can you see how this would be EXTREMELY helpful to do this for 10 minutes right before you leave the house to go sarge? I mean isn’t this EXACTLY what you’re going to be faced with in the bar? I can’t think of a BETTER pre-sarge ritual to get loose. Don’t misunderstand, this isn’t a replacement for opening ACTUAL live sets in field. But it sure seems like a GREAT warm up to me.

So what I’m going to do is spend 10 minutes or so doing this… or however long it takes and just go completely spontaneous off the top of my head. I think after 20 girls or so, I should have come up with some good cocky/funny openers that I can “can” and use in real life at the bar.

I think I’ll start to KILL IT if I have about 5 cocky/funny openers that are re-usable, that covers MOST situations and I start pulling those out on HBs instead of not opening or opening with something situational and harmless. Opening with anything is better than not opening. But opening cocky/funny is WAY better. If you really believe in cocky/funny why wouldn’t you OPEN with it?? Why? You’re afraid you might offend her?? What’s the difference if you OPEN with it, or wait until you’re 2 minutes into the conversation. I say OPEN with it.

I had one night where I was in the ZONE with this stuff. It was at that bitchy Sunday bar I go to, the one I haven’t been laid out of in over a YEAR. For whatever reason I was ON and just tearing into any hot chick that got near me. And I got laid that night! That was “come on my eyes” girl. So in a way, this has already been field tested. I’m just trying to can a few of those C&F openers and duplicate this.

I should go sarge like that EVERY night! That was a “Raging confidence” night. I’ve been trying to figure out for months how to duplicate that night. I think this is how! It was the C&F opening of ANY girl that dared get in my range, that CAUSED that confidence. So if I can pre-can some C&F openers and come out armed instead of relying on some magical perfect “feeling” to get me in that zone, I should be able to duplicate that night and get those “Raging confidence” nights AT WILL. Right?? I think so. I think I’m onto something huge. The questions is whether IN FIELD it’s as easy as I’m making it sound AT THE KEYBOARD.

So this exercise will help me to come up with some stock openers that I can reuse. MY openers. Not something I read somewhere. And that’s the best kind. AND if I do this before leaving the bar to go sarge, it SHOULD get me loose and in the right “opening” frame. I’ll let you know after tonight. Right now this is still theory, I haven’t field tested it by doing this exercise immediately before going sarging. How can it NOT work though??

As a huge bonus, and this speaks to my last post about WHY the hot girls intimidate guys and what to do about it – you can NOT be intimidated by a girl whey you’re teasing her. You just can’t. You can’t simulatneously be busting her balls and be afraid. So if you can get yourself going that way, doing down that cocky/funny path, you’re GOLDEN. This is gonna’ be my focus tonight. Not JUST opening sets. Opening with C&F stuff. Setting the right tone, laying down the tease frame right from the start. I predict good things.

I think this is HUGE. I know I’m freakin “Ephiphany soup” as of late, but this is big. Going out sober is great and helps me overcome fear. And I realized just a week ago that my opening is lacking and I need to focus on that. But opening alone does not=attraction. I’ve already proven to myself the power of C&F and the power of C&F openers. I’ve been LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS. Looking for a way to DUPLICATE my “on fire” nights. When I’m ON, lookout. It’s not “I don’t know how to attract girls”. It’s I don’t know how to do it consistently. Those “raging confidence” night, I am absolutely UNSTOPPABLE. I think this… this practice opening on hot pictures of sets and coming up with C&F openers to then use in real life that night at the bar….. I think this will work. I hope so. How many more fucking epiphanies can I have before I start getting laid again? I mean every time I’m like “Ok, THIS has got to be it right??” This has got to be the thing I’ve been missing! Damn Smokey!

The thing that gives me hope, is this has already worked. I have a proven track record of success with C&F. And all along, the past few months I have been TRYING to incorporate this, focusing on teasing. ….with marginal success. But trying to work in some C&F and OPENING with it thus setting that frame immediately and continuing to LAY IT ON – are two different things. It’s not “some C&F is good” No. ERR on the side of too much! Go nuts with it. If you read the HBStrippergirl FR I was POURING IT ON. I think if I OPEN with it, I can get there again. Man I’m REALLY excited about tonight and an opportunity to try this out!